If other Americans planning to vote for Barack Obama on November 4 feel the same way I do, then if he does not win because of (insert soul-destroying reason here: Republicans steal the election again, a Bradley effect, not enough people vote for him), there will be a massive wave of emotion to endure on November 5. If others share my sentiments, there will be:
1. Profound sadness
2. Blind terror at what the next decade holds for our country
3. An irrevocable loss of faith in the democratic process, and
4. An increase in job searches abroad.
There are so many reasons for this. The McCain campaign and its supporters can jeer about a campaign based on “hope” all they want, but the underlying premise of Obama’s campaign represents so much more than people who can’t see beyond the confines of their own four walls can imagine. Many of us believe that the last eight years have placed this country on the path to destruction, and to say as much doesn’t make us anti-American, or defeatists, or dirty liberals. It simply means we do not agree with the policies of a president whose supporters rigged an election for him, or with the way the country has been co-opted by religious fanatics who seek to legislate their version of morality for us all. It means we believe the country should be run by someone who is the opposite of who we have now: someone highly educated, analytical, calm, collaborative, and with a global world view; someone who possesses a long-term view for America.
Barack Obama holds out the promise of hope for this country. Hope that those of us who have felt disenfranchised can re-establish our voices, and not be made to feel we are un-American for daring to voice our opposition to the unprecedented, abusive amassment of power by this administration. Hope that we can renew a commitment to civil rights in this country that has been shamelessly chipped away by the current administration, and which doesn’t bode any better under a McCain/Palin stint on Pennsylvania Avenue. Hope that we can be a beacon for the world once again with national pride based not on some outdated notion that we are the biggest and strongest so that we may self-righteously impose ourselves on the rest of the world, but on our achievements as an advanced, educated, growth-oriented, post-racial and tolerant society that is blazing an enviable path into the future.
Barack Obama inspires us to dream that we can have a say in our own destinies and that with him at the helm this world is going to be a better place, and he backs up his vision with solid ideas about how to advance our nation past the loggerheads at which we find ourselves today. To imagine that this pure and hopeful dream could be destroyed by the conniving machinations of a pair of fools who clearly do not represent the majority in this country … it is simply devastating.
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Dear Red States,
We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and
we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware,
that includes Hawaii , California , Oregon , Washington , Minnesota , Wisconsin , Michigan , Illinois , New York , and all of the Northeastern states. After this election, we'll be adding Colorado and New Mexico .
We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, especially to the people of our new country - Nuevo California.
To sum up briefly: You get Texas , Oklahoma and all the slave states;
we get stem cell research, the best beaches, and the best ski
resorts. We get the Statue of Liberty; you get Dollywood. We get
Intel and Microsoft; you get WorldCom. We get Stanford, Harvard,
Princeton, Yale , Cal Tech, MIT and Columbia ; you get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent of America 's venture capital and entrepreneurs; you get Alabama . We get two-thirds of the tax revenue; you get to make the red states pay their fair share.
Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than that of the Christian Coalition, we get a bunch of happy families and you get a bunch of under-educated single moms.
Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we'll need all of our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They apparently have kids they're willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't
mind if you don't televise their kid's caskets coming home. We do
wish you success in Iraq and hope that those Weapons of Mass
Destruction turn up for you, but we're not willing to spend any more
of our money in Bush's Quagmire.
With the Blue States, we will control 80 percent of the country's
fresh water, 90 percent of pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the
nation's fresh fruit, 97 percent of America 's quality wines (you can serve French wines at your state dinners), 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, and all the Ivy League and Seven Sister schools. We also get New England , the Great Lakes and Yosemite , thank you very much.
In the Red States, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans and their projected health care costs, 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, 100 percent of tornadoes, 94 percent of hurricanes, 99 percent of Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University , and Clemson.
Additionally, in the Red States, 38 percent actually believe Jonah was
swallowed by a whale; 62 percent believe life is sacred unless it
involves the death penalty or gun ownership; 44 percent claim that
evolution is only a theory; 53 percent insist that Saddam Hussein was involved in 9/11; and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you have higher moral standards than those of us on the left.
By the way, we're taking all the good pot, too. You get that dirt weed from Mexico and Kansas ditches.
Peace out,
The Blue States
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